When you givesomeone feedback on an area where they need to improve, they will often defend themselves and try to prove you wrong. Sometimes, if they are higher than you in age, status or hierarchy, they will use that power to be aggressive towards you, or if they don't have that power, they will hold a grudge and use silent and insidious violence.
This is a matter of human psychology and is actually the biggest obstacle to becoming a better person.
In the business world, 360-degree feedback surveys are often used to identify areas where managers need to improve. When I give feedback to managers on the results of these surveys , I find that they often use 4 defense mechanisms to fend off the "negative perceptions" they encounter in the report. I call these "barriers to leadership intelligence" because they prevent managers from gaining the self-awareness they need to become better leaders. These barriers are based on principles of psychology;
1 Naive Realism:
This philosophical concept is based on the assumption thatwe all seethe world directly and as it is. We also believe that what we see is the same as what everyone else sees. Therefore, when we receive feedback about ourselves that doesn't match our views, we assume that the people giving this feedback are either commenting on us without significant data, or that they are blinded by their own interests, ideologies and prejudices.
2 Self-Serving Tendency:
This is the tendency to ascribe personal attributions to success (i.e. to give ourselves credit) and situational meanings (explanations or justifications) to failures. If I do something well, it is because I am talented or because I worked hard. If I make a mistake, it's because I didn't get the right instructions from accounting or I didn't have enough time to complete the job.
If we don't know the answer to the question"Who am I?", we are mistaken about who we really are. We react to unpleasant feedback in a way that protects our sense of self and self-esteem. Sigmund Freud suggests that individuals tend to suppress, internalize or rationalize information that threatens their ego. The manifestation of these reactions takes various forms, such as manipulating, denying or distorting feedback.
4 Negativity Tendency:
This is the tendency to focusall our attention onnegative feedback. People often "fixate" on the slightest negative information in 360-degree feedback surveys, overlooking the many positive evaluations.
The good news is that by helping individuals recognize these barriers, it's actually easy to overcome them. Once managers are able to accept feedback, they can then translate it into behaviors they need to change and become more effective leaders. So the first priority is to ensure that the manager is able to recognize the obstacles in front of them. This requires a good coaching process. Of course, this is a topic for another article :)
What I'm wondering is, when you receive feedback that is not in line with your perceptions of yourself, which of the above obstacles do you face? I would be very grateful if you could share your views with me.
Bahar Sen
Other Blogs you may be interested in: