Once I was having a coaching call via video conference with a senior director who "didn't own the feedback he received." About thirty managers in his organization had recently gone through the 360-degree feedback process. I had been conducting interviews with the director's subordinates, i.e. lower level managers, for a couple of weeks and it was his turn.
While the situation was not depressing, the ratings given to him by many of his direct reports were not as high as expected. After spending the first 15 minutes of the 90-minute interview explaining the nature of feedback and reactions to feedback, I sensed that there was something this manager was not convinced about. "I think there's something here that you're not comfortable with," I pointed out. "You're right," the voice on the screen said, "You said that this 360-degree feedback is a gift, but I have a hard time seeing such feedback as a 'GIFT'." He sounded defeated.
I asked him, "Did you ask them for this feedback?"
"Yes," he said.
This time I asked, "And have you been given feedback?"
"Isn't it obvious?" he said in a sarcastic tone. "I realize that the 360 feedback I receive is valuable, but I'm not sure if I would call it a gift. That's a bit pretentious, isn't it?"
I've never heard anyone I've coached on 360-degree feedback openly question the concept of "feedback is a gift." This both surprised me and made me think. In what way exactly was feedback a gift? As I thought about the many managers I have coached, I realized that while many of them welcomed feedback gratefully, even if it hurt, a considerable number of them did not see feedback as a "gift".
"The gift you are given is your choices, " I told him. She listened with curiosity as I explained this concept.
When we receive the gift of feedback, we have four new options that we didn't have before:
Feedback is often either supportive (telling us that we are on the right track) or directive (telling us that we need to change direction). Both types of feedback support us to stay on the course we have set, if we listen and choose to take action.
This means either correcting our course or continuing on the path we are on. That's where the individual says, "Actually, you're right, I need to change... and this is how I'm going to do it." Another situation is when the feedback shows that you are deeply misunderstood by others, in which case it gives you the opportunity to understand why you are perceived the way you are.
While some of the feedback is entirely appropriate, sometimes not acting on it is just as vital as adapting our behavior to it. For example, a manager who knows that an employee is not ready for a promotion may choose to hold them back until they acquire the necessary skills. However, the employee may give feedback to the manager that he or she is not being given enough opportunity to advance. This feedback is valid, but for the good of the employee and the organization, the manager chooses not to act on it. In this case, not acting is the right action. However, this feedback gives you an insight into what the employee's point of view is. If this is the case, the manager has the opportunity to explain to the employee that the feedback was heard, that it was valid and why no action was taken.
For some, it is "standard" behavior to accept any feedback as wrong, flawed and invalid. Sometimes the feedback is genuinely wrong and it may be the right response to dismiss it out of hand. Most of the time, however, accepting feedback as invalid is a self-defense mechanism on the part of the manager.
Managers who are not adept at distinguishing between valid and invalid feedback, and who dismiss feedback from the outset as invalid, often miss the opportunity for self-improvement that feedback offers. A manager who realizes that he or she is repeating this pattern over and over will take an honest look in the mirror and see that the feedback is pointing out some important blind spots.
When working on 360-degree feedback, what we see very often is that the feedback given raises more questions than it answers them. For example, a manager may learn that some people find his treatment of employees unequal. The manager doesn't ignore this possibility (that may be true), in fact he or she has so far taken great care to involve all employees in the decision-making process, and judging by the feedback he or she has received, this has not been enough for some.
This feedback opens the door to the need for more feedback, because the manager sincerely asks, "Can you give me more information? This is my bam, and if there is still a question mark about it, I would like to keep working on it."
All of these approaches may be appropriate in some situations. Before you ignore the feedback, recognize these gifts that are available to you. You now have four options that you didn't have before.
As for the director I interviewed via video conference, he worked on the feedback for a while and tried to process it (it was an emotional process for him), but after our conversation he realized that he now had four choices that he didn't have before.