Giving Tough Performance Feedback

Dear Joseph,

We have an employee who was previously a manager, but accepted an entry-level job for a full-time position in our company. He has made a lot of progress in learning the rules and processes of our company and initially showed a considerable appetite for learning.

But recently he has become distracted. He delivers work reluctantly. He makes mistakes that are simply avoidable because he is not trying hard enough. Most recently, he applied for a managerial position in the company. Given his current poor performance, I hesitate to recommend him. How can I revitalize this employee? I don't want him to take this as a warning, because he has done nothing wrong. I just want to motivate him to prove that he is ready for this position with a little more effort.

Signature,
The Coach's Challenge

Dear Coach's Struggle,

It's so easy! Your last paragraph shows me that your heart is in the right place. You are not angry. Your intention is not to punish. It seems to me that you want to be honest in recommending your employee. You are a person of dignity. And you want that employee to succeed.

Ninety percent of the difficulties we have in critical conversations are mostly problems of motivation, not skill. We get angry, scared or offended by the behavior of others and from that moment on our motivation changes to blaming, justifying, wanting to punish or not wanting to cause trouble. I don't hear any of that in your question.

Here is a tip for you: You already know what you are going to say! When I ask people, "What are the things that scare you about this crucial conversation?" they give a lot of answers. They say things like, "I don't want to hurt her," or "I don't want to lose our relationship," or "I don't want her to think I'm angry with her," and so on.

Then I ask, "Well, what do you hope will happen as a result of this conversation?" Then they start shredding literature; thoughts turn into words and start flying through the air! "I want him to be on time for meetings," or "I want him to succeed."

CRITICAL CONVERSATIONS

Often, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, we already have the ruby shoes we need to get home. We just have to look down and see them. Your ruby shoes are in your last paragraph. Imagine starting your critical conversation with this person by saying something like this: "If I may, I have some feedback I would like to share with you. I don't want you to take it as a warning, because you haven't done anything wrong. I just want you to show that you are ready for this position with a little more effort." A great opening speech! You can get hurt. You are honest. You are attentive. It's everything you need to start a critical conversation.

Often all you need to do to make people feel safe is to share what you want and don't want to happen during the speech. As long as your heart is in the right place, you are off to a good start.

I wish you and your employee all the best!

Sincerely,
Joseph