Dear Bahar
My manager leaves things open to change until the last minute and it completely stresses me out.
Some examples:
1- We were going to make a presentation to the senior management and we decided to remove some things from the presentation for certain logical reasons. However, two hours before the presentation, my manager decided to add them back in for no reason.
2- We were launching a new product that would be a hit and in line with the senior management team's point of view, but he suddenly wanted to change the content of this product that we were already late in producing. If he had been able to do what he wanted to do, we would have missed the deadline for the launch and it would have been very embarrassing for us.
3- In the middle of a company event, he texted me to change the agenda for the event!
Situations like this cause terrible stress for me. I like to plan things in advance and I don't like last minute surprises. How can I successfully discuss this with my manager?
Love
Stressed
Dear Stressed,
This is a very good question! And thank you for the detailed examples. Often we need to go back from our feelings to the story that preceded them, and from there to the facts that preceded that story. As I see it, you are facing situations like these:
- Emotions you are experiencing: Stress and frustration
- Story in Your Head: "My manager leaves things open to change until the last minute and it completely stresses me out."
- The Facts: The three incidents you described.
Challenge your story. I want to start by challenging your story just a little bit. We humans often make what psychologists call "The fundamental attribution error". We attribute other people's bad behavior to internal predispositions, like when you say, "My manager likes ...," and ignore the external factors that may have influenced that behavior. Take some time to think about why your manager leaves things to the last minute. Here are some possibilities:
* He is constantly interrupted by other daily tasks, so he can't focus on your priority until the last minute. And when he gets it, he wants to make some changes.
* Other leaders, with whom he has to compromise, don't pay attention to his priorities until the last minute. They ask for changes and your administrator passes them on to you as if it were his will.
* Maybe some situations are not so stable and you really need to make last minute changes. (I would be a little surprised if this last one is true, but it is worth considering)
In order to find a solid solution to your problem, it is necessary to consider how your situation relates to these three possibilities. If you focus on motivating her not to do so without understanding the root causes of her wanting to change the way things are going at the last minute, she is likely to feel blamed and become defensive.
Focus onwhat you really want - what you want in the long term for the organization, for your manager, for yourself and for your work relationship. Take care to avoid a perspective that focuses only on yourself. "These situations cause me terrible stress" or "I like to plan things in advance and I don't like last minute surprises". These are selfish requests. Instead, focus on the benefits you want to achieve for your organization, for your manager and for yourself.
Believe me. If you are feeling stressed, others are feeling stressed for reasons you don't know. It's not just behavior that doesn't fit your motivations, there is a more critical issue here, and that is that the cost to the organization of these last minute changes is enormous. I've seen organizations grind to a halt because of this, and I've seen people stop taking action because they think that managers are going to ask for last minute changes anyway. If you provide more predictability and reliability for all stakeholders, you will help your organization, your manager and others, including yourself.
Set expectations that work for everyone. In our Critical Accountability training, we teach a skill called Define the Expectation Gap. The expectation gap is the difference between what you expect and what you observe. In your case, this expectation gap is between what you expect and what the manager and other stakeholders expect. The conversation with your manager will be successful if you are able to align the expectations of all stakeholders.
ACCOUNTABILITY TRAINING
To define your expectations, I suggest you refer to the best practice principles and rules of universal project management and decision-making process. Good project management and decision making requires that the right people (i.e. your manager and other stakeholders) are involved at the right time. This minimizes last minute decision changes.
Find out how project management and decision-making works in your own organization and use these findings when talking to your manager. Your goal is to ensure that your manager and other stakeholders are committed to a decision-making and project management process that will make their lives easier and improve the organization's effectiveness.
Bring forward the timing of important decisions. Since the problem is that the manager does not make a decision until an issue is at the point of urgency, part of the solution is to bring this sense of urgency forward. First of all, it is necessary to create control phases in project plans so that people are involved earlier in the process. But this involvement only works if people use the checkpoints to create a sense of urgency and people take the project plan seriously.
Make sure you can get the intellectual input you need from stakeholders early in the process. If you don't get serious buy-in early on, then you can be sure that it will be last minute and this will lead to last minute changes.
Get permission to hold people accountable during the project plan process. With the first exam, it will happen when your manager or others skip project checkpoints or come unprepared. Talk to them in advance about this possibility. If they don't think about the project on time (as requested in the project plan), then the whole planning process collapses and you are back to last minute changes.
Some organizations even use acronyms to refer to this negative cycle. One of the organizations I work with describes it with the letter 'K' (Decision). They use two terms, Skipping the Decision and Missing the Decision. Everyone knows what these terms mean and they use them as reminders to hold each other accountable.
I hope these suggestions help you. Please let me know how it goes.
Bahar